JOKES IN ENGLISH (TOP 15 )

 Hi, I am Vanessa from speak English with happinessstrength.blogspot.com. Why is that funny, let's go. Do you understand jokes in English? Have you ever watched an English T V show and people were laughing and you thought, what's funny? Why are they laughing, as I mentioned in my article English fluency test when you are sitting down at a dinner table and people are speaking in English and telling jokes and laughing and you can understand them you are fluent. You might not think the jokes are funny, but you can understand why they're supposed to be funny. That's great. That is a sign of fluency. A lot of jokes in English are puns or plays on words. This means that there are two words that sound similar and we make a joke about those words that sound similar. This takes a really advanced level of English vocabulary and sometimes even culture and. So today I want to help you learn 15 silly, clever and sometimes strange jokes in English. Yes, you will learn the jokes, but more importantly, you will learn vocabulary and also about the American culture that is included in some of these jokes. Sometimes these plays on words are called dad jokes. That's because they are very silly and stereotypically dads use these kinds of jokes and their children go, dad, you're so funny. It's a little funny. Maybe it's more just silly. So today I have asked my husband Dan, who is a dad. We have two children to read these jokes. We'll first listen to him, say these jokes and then I will explain them to you. I hope that they will become clear and your vocabulary will grow step by step. Let's get started with the first win. Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece. Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece. Why is this a joke, there are two countries, France and Greece, but the joke here is about the word Greece in English. Greece is two things. It could be a country, the country of Greece or it can be oil. We say that French fries, potato chips. These types of foods are greasy or oily. So in this joke, we are expecting that the listener understands both of those meanings of the word Greece. We cook French fries in oil or in Greece, not the country, but the type of oil. Do you get the idea about these jokes, these puns or plays on words? They really expect you to be able to have an advanced level of knowing different vocabulary is in different ideas. That sounds the same. We're gonna listen to Dan, my husband say that joke again and I hope that this time you will understand it. Let's. Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece. Did you get it all right? Let's go to joke number 2. Hey, i'm reading a book about anti gravity. It's impossible to put down. Hey, i'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down. Why is this a joke, the joke is about the Fraser verb to put down. We can use this figuratively or literally literally to put something down means that you are setting it on a surface maybe to put something on a table to put the book down on the table. But what is this book about. Antigravity. So it's a little bit of a joke here about the subject of the book, but there is a second meaning for to put down a book. When we say I loved that book so much, I couldn't put it down. It means that I couldn't stop reading it. So this is a common phrasal verb that we use for reading. I love this book. I couldn't put it down. That means I didn't want to stop. But here the clever joke is that the book is about anti-gravity, which means it's impossible to set something on a surface with no gravity. So the joke is about the figurative or literal use of this phrasal verb to put down. Let's watch Dan say this joke one more time and I hope you'll enjoy it. Let's watch, hey, i'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down. Did you get it, I hope so. Let's go on to our third joke. Why did the man fall down the well. Because he couldn't see that. Well, why did the man fall down the well. Because he couldn't see that. Well, do you know what a well is that is essential for understanding this joke. A well is a deep hole where you can get water from. So our ancestors most likely had a well on their farm or somewhere in their village and they would take a bucket and lower it into the well and get some water. So at the beginning of this joke, it says, why did the man fall down the well, this is the literal kind of well, where you get water, he fell down the well and the answer is because he couldn't see that wall. Well, the joke here is about the final part of this phrase to see that well, we can use this literally to mean. He couldn't visually. Maybe he's blind. Maybe there was some leaves covering the hole and he fell down into it. He couldn't see that well, he couldn't see the well, that was there, but we can use this figuratively as well. If you say. I can't see that. Well, it means my vision is poor. I have poor vision. I can't see that. Well, I need to wear glasses. I can't see that. Well, this is the joke here talking about a well where you can get water and well, to mean good, I can't see that good or I can't see that well, or I can't see that. Well, the whole in the ground, all right, let's listen to Dan say this joke one more time. Why did the man fall down the well. Because he couldn't see that well. Did you get it, I hope so. Let's go on to our fourth joke. Why are spiders so smart. They can find everything on the web. Why are spiders so smart. They can find everything on the web. What's so funny about this joke, well, what is a spider's home, it is a spider's web, but there are two meanings of web. The first one is a spider's home. It's a spider web, so the spider is on its web. It knows all of the flies and all of the things that are on its web, but the second meaning of web is what makes this joke funny. Do you know what W W W stands for. World wide web this is another way to say the internet on the web is kind of a casual or slain way to say on the internet if someone asks, how did you learn English, you might say on the web with Vanessa that means online with Vanessa. So it's using this dual meaning of web. A spider knows everything about its home about its web, but it also learned a lot of information on the internet on the web. Let's listen to Dan say this one more time and then we'll go to the next joke. Why are spiders so. They can find everything on the web. Did you get it, let's go to the next one about a scarecrow. Let's listen. Why did the scarecrow win an award. He was outstanding in his field why did the scarecrow win an award. He was outstanding in his field. In case you didn't know it's essential for this joke. This is a scare crow. It's usually in the middle of a farmer's field to scare away birds or some other kind of thing that's going to hurt the cropps. Well, the joke here is not necessarily about the word scarecrow. But it's about what the scarecrow does. Where is the scarecrow. It is standing in the field, but sometimes we use an extra word to say, oh, I am out. In my car. I'm outstanding in that field. I'm out somewhere to say I am not at home. I am away somewhere and that's what this joke says he was out. Standing in the field, that's what the scarecrow was doing. But the joke here is about another meaning for the word outstanding in the joke. You see it as two words he was out out of the house. He was outstanding in the field, but if we put that together, he was outstanding and. This means amazing. He was outstanding. You are an outstanding student. He was outstanding in the field or in his field. Field also has a double, meaning it could be a place where you grow wheat or you grow corn a field or it can be your career, the medical field, the educational field. This is the general term for where you work. So if you are outstanding in the medical field, that means you are an amazing researcher or an amazing doctor. You are amazing in your field and that's what the scarecrow is. He is outstanding in the field and. Very silly. All right, let's watch Dan say this again. Why did the scarecrow win an award. He was outstanding in his field. Did you get it, I hope so. Let's go to our next joke. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself. It was too tired. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself. It was too tired. Do you know this double meaning too tired, you might know that in English there are three different ways to spell 2 T O. T O O and T W O they all have different meanings and they're used dramatically different incentives. And that's what's happening here. We're making a play on words on this expression too tired. How many wheels or tires does a bike have. 2. So that's one meaning the bike has two tires, but is there another meaning for the word tired. Yes, it means that you have no energy. You are maybe sleepy or exhausted. I am too tired to do any more work. And that's what's happening in here. The bike can't stand up. Because it only has two tires or two wheels and also because it's so exhausted. It's so sleepy. It's too tired. Very silly. This is a pun or a play on words. All right, let's watch dancing at one more time. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself. It was too tired. Did you get it, I hope so. Let's go on to joke number 7. My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast. My friends bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast. There is one important thing at the beginning of this joke. What burned down? It wasn't a fire department. It wasn't a house, it wasn't an office, it was a bakery, a bakery cells. What. Bread and pastries and these types of things. And after the bakery burned down. Her business is toast. Do you know what toast is? This is the key to this joke because there are two meanings for the word toast. The first one is. Warm crispy bread. You could cut a slice of bread and put it in the toaster and the bread will have some brown marks on it and it will be warm and toasted. You can put some butter on it. It's great. This is toast, but there is a more figurative meaning for toast as well. That second meeting means ruined. For example, you might say when my mom finds out that I broke that window, i'm toast. That means my life is ruined. I will be in so much trouble when my mom finds out that I broke that window. I am toast. This is the same for the business because the business burned down. She can't have a business anymore, so her business is toast. But it's also funny because she sells bread and this is the crispy warm. Toasted bread. Little silly, alright, let's listen to Dan say this one more time. My friends bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast. Did you get it, the business is toast. Let's go on to our 8th joke. What does a nosy pepper do. It gets halal panel. What does a nosy pepper do. It gets Halloween, your business. All right, this joke is starting to get a little more advanced. You need to know two things or rather three things to understand this joke. The first is the word noisy. If I say my neighbor is so noisy, would you know what that means? It means that she's always looking out her windows and seeing, oh, Vanessa drove away in her car. I wonder where she's going. She didn't go with her children. Where is she going, this means that they are too curious. This is very annoying when someone asked too many questions and it kind of gets on your nerves. They're too noisy. So that's the first part and we have a nosy pepper. This is a type of food, usually spicy, some. Is not like a bell pepper, but this is a type of food, the nosy pepper. But our key to this joke is the ending. A hello panel is a really spicy pepper. This pepper is really common in the US and we use it in sauces in different types of Mexican dishes. A hello panel. So we say it gets hello pino business. Why are we saying it gets spicy pepper business, well, you need to have a deep knowledge of casual slang in English. This also the word hello opinion also sounds like all up in your business. It gets all up in your business. This phrase to get all up in your business means to be noisy. My neighbor is always getting all up in my business. It doesn't mean my work my business. It just means my life. She is too noisy. She's asking too many questions. She's always getting all up in my business and I just want some space. I want some privacy stop getting all up in my business. It's a very casual expression. So we sometimes say this with attitude, especially when we're telling someone. Step back, don't get all up in my business. You might say this with a little attitude and that's kind of what's happening in this joke when it says it gets all up in your business all up in your business, all up in your business, i'll open your business. These jokes can be quite deep, right. And without this knowledge of casual expressions of hot peppers. You might not understand why it's funny. So that's why i'm here to help you all right, let's listen to Dan say this one more time. What does a nosy pepper do. It gets halal panel. Did you get it, let's go to joke number 9 about stairs. Let's listen. I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something. I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something. Do you know what stairs are? It's what you use to go up to the second floor or the third floor of a building you need to go up the stairs and the joke here is about the expression to go up to something or to be up to something. When you are walking up the stairs. You are going up to the second floor. You are going up to the third floor. Of course, when you go up the stairs there is something up there. It's not stairs leading to nowhere, just an empty space. Now there is another level of the building or another level of your house up there. Of course, there is something up there. So to go up to something means to move. But the second figurative meaning of this is what makes this joke funny. The expression to be up to something means that you are doing something sneaky to be up to something. So if you are a parent and you see your two children whispering. And they're looking in the kitchen. You think what are they up to, they are up to something that means they have a clever plan. They are trying to be sneaky and then you see them trying to go into the cupboard and eat some cookies. Okay, this was their plan to try to secretly eat some more cookies. They were trying to be sneaky and we use that expression up to something. They're up to something. Sometimes we say they are up to no good. Because usually when you are up to something, it means that something that you're doing is. Bad or risky or not allowed. Forbidden. So you're up to something and that's what's happening here. It's a clever joke about stairs. Of course they lead somewhere. They go up to the second floor. But I don't trust stairs because they have a sneaky plan. They are planning something. I don't trust them. They're up to something. All right, let's listen to Dan, say this joke one more time. I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something. Did you get it all right? Let's go to our 10th joke about a train. What do you call a train carrying bubble gum. A chew chew train. What do you call a train carrying bubble gum. A chew chew train. Compared to our previous joke, this joke is a little bit more simple. A chew choo train. Do you know what you do when you put bubble gum in your mouth. You choose the gun. That's the action. I am chewing the gum. But we also have a sound or a word for the sound a train makes when a train is going. This is the sound of the whistle of a train juju. Which is also the same as. To choose something. So here is the joke, the difference between chewing bubble gum and the sound a train makes 2 2. Great. I hope you got it. Let's listen to Danza it. What do you call a train carrying bubble gum. A chew chew train. Did you get it, I hope so. Let's go to our 11th joke about duck. What time do ducks wake up. At the quack of dawn, what time do ducks wake up. At the quack of dawn, do you know what sound ducks make quack, quack, quack. Quack, if you're interested in sounds that other animals make, I made this video about common sounds in English animal sounds sounds that items make sounds that people make like when we're frustrated, these types of sounds very important for English conversations in daily life, but the sound that a duck makes is quack quack quack quack. So here is our first meaning quack. But do you know this full expression crack of dawn sounds like the full expression crack of dawn crack of dawn is an expression that means. First thing in the morning when the sun comes up, boom. That is the crack of dawn. Usually it is extremely early in the morning and when we use that expression, we're trying to imply that I had to wake up so early. I had to wake up at the crack of dawn to get to the airport to catch my flight. The crack of dawn the moment that there's a little bit of light is the crack of dawn. So that's what this joke is talking about, but they substitute crack and crack because that's what ducks say the crack of dawn. All right, let's listen to Dan say this one more time. What time do ducks wake up. At the quack of dawn, did you get it, I hope so. Let's go to our next joke. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. Do you know what facial hair is that is like a beard or a mustache. Facial hair and some people don't like it. Some people like it, it's just personal preference or maybe cultural preferences sometimes. But what is the joke here? The joke is about the phrasal verb to grow on. Where does your hair grow, well, it grows on your head. It grows on you. It is actually growing on you. But there's a figurative meaning for it to grow on as well. If you say I used to not like Vanessa classes, I hope that's not true. I used to not like Vanessa classes, but the more I watched them they grew on me. They are my classes. My lessons grew on you. That means that over time you learned to like them, you became more and more comfortable and it became something that you liked same for facial hair. I used to hate facial hair beards, mustaches. But then they grew on me. Okay, we're talking about literally facial hair grows on you, but also that figurative idea that over time I learned to like it. It grew on me. Let's listen to Dan, say this one more time. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. Did you get it, I hope so. These last three jokes are more advanced than the others because you need to know something's very specific about American culture, but don't worry, i'm here to help you. Let's get started with the next one and listen to it. Hey, Vanessa, what what in Tennessee? What the same thing that Arkansas, hey, Vanessa, what what did Tennessee, what the same thing that Arkansas? These are both states Tennessee and Arkansas are states don't be fold by the spelling of Arkansas. There is an s at the end, but we pronounce it Arkansas, Arkansas. Listen carefully to the end of these states, Tennessee, Arkansas, do you know this verb to see with your eyes. You see something. But what is that in the past tense, if I said today. The beautiful weather yesterday. I the beautiful weather yesterday. I saw the beautiful weather. This is in a regular verb in the present it is to see and in the past it is saw. So here we have a joke about both of these. Let me give you a sample sentence and I want to see if you can understand it a little bit better. What did you see, I don't know what I saw. What did you see, I don't know what I saw, so let's pretend that. Tena and argan our people and we can substitute I what did you see? I don't know what I saw. Let's substitute you and I for these people. What did tena. The same thing as Arkansas. Very silly. But in order to understand this joke. You need to know what these states are, you need to know the verb tenses of the verb saw. So there is a deep level of understanding that needs to happen in order to laugh at this joke. And if you heard someone say this in. For example, you're watching the big bang theory and you hear someone say a joke like this and everyone is laughing. I hope that now you will feel a little more comfortable. All right, let's listen to dancing. Just joke one more time. Hey, Vanessa, what what in Tennessee? The same thing that Arkansas did you get it. I hope so. Let's go on to our 14th advanced joke. What's the difference between a hippo and a zip. One's really heavy and the other one's a little lighter. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo. Ones really heavy and the other one's a little lighter to understand this joke. You need to know that a common brand of lighter is zippo. This is the brand of the lighter. Well, we know that hippos are heavy animals. And zippo are a type of a lighter. There are two meanings of the word lighter the opposite of heavy is light, heavy and light, or it is an item a lighter. So here is where the the cleverness of the joke is. There is two meanings. Something that's not heavy and something that gives fire is a lighter. Let's listen to Dante this one more time and we'll go into our final joke. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo. One's really heavy and the other one's a little lighter. Did you get it, I hope so. All right, I want you to take a deep breath before we go on to our final 15th the joke, this is deeply rooted in American culture to take a breath. And let's listen to Dan, say it. One day, a viking named Rudolph the red looked out the window and said, it's going to rain. His wife said, how do you know? He said, because Rudolph the red nose reindeer, one day a viking named Rudolf the red looked out the window and said, it's going to rain. His wife said, how do you know. He said, because Rudolph the red nose. At Christmas time in the us and maybe in other countries as well, most children watch this classic film and listen to this Christmas song, Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, a reindeer is a kind of animal like a deer has antlers and it lives in cold countries and Rudolph. The name of this reindeer is special because he has a red shiny nose and in the song and in this film he helps Santa find his way in a storm to be able to deliver presents. So the story is about a special reindeer and the silly thing or the funny thing about this joke is that it is about a man named Rudolph the red. Thinks that he is knowledgeable about the weather. He says, I know about rain, I know about rain, but the way that he says it sounds like the name of this character because he calls his wife a kind, loving name. Sometimes husbands and wives will call each other dear honey sweetie. These kind of kind names. So he calls his wife dear, that is what he's saying to her instead of her name. So when we say the full phrase out loud, listen to this Rudolph the red. That's the sky's name root off. Nose rain, dear. But what does this sound like, Rudolph the red nose reindeer. Rudolph the red nose reindeer had a very shiny nose. Most kids know this song is a common Christmas song and I hope that now you can dig a little bit deeper in American culture and also realize why people might laugh at this joke. Let's listen to Dan, say this one. One day, a viking named Rudolph the red looked out the window and said, it's going to rain. His wife said, how do you know? He said, because Rudolph the red nose. Did you get it, I hope so. This was a lot of jokes, a lot of vocabulary and also a lot of culture. I hope that this lesson was helpful for you before we go. I have a final test for you. I want to know, can you tell me why is this joke funny, let me know in the comments what you think i'm going to read it out loud and then I want you to write in the comments why you think it's funny, what time did the man go to the dentist. Tooth 30 tooth hurry. Why is this joke funny or silly just upon a play on words, let me know in the comments and I hope that you enjoyed this lesshson. Thank you so much for learning English  with me and i'll see you again next  for a new lesson here on my blogger side by the next step is to download my free ebook 5 steps to becoming a confident English speaker. You will learn what you need to do to speak confidently and fluently. Don't forget to follow  my site for more free lessons. Thanks so much. Bye.